ˇ¶Runaway Brideˇ· PART 2 INt. ORE - CONtINUOUS Peggy and Mrs. Pressman enter, worried. MRS. PRESSMAN You tell Maggie. PEGGY No, you tell her. MRS. PRESSMAN No, no. Youre friend. PEGGY No. MRS. PRESSMAN (holding her newspaper) You knos just possible t she read t. PEGGY Yeah. MRS. PRESSMAN Maybe s read the paper... On ter, today opened to the article about Maggie. MRS. PRESSMAN (contd) ... Or not! e folloairs inside the hale hardware Store, ttiest, most welcoming ss kind anywhere in small to of ter; botop and se brightness, cy. Maggie comes doeps o an elderly customer, MR. PAXtON. MAGGIE (bright) ique er ;quot; still on it, guaranteed to fit any American Standard cast iron tub er made bether of the dogon. MR. PAXtON (amazed) hallelujah. MAGGIE Alrigon, Ill put it on your account. Maggie rounds tomer, EARL, stands by the paint machine. EARL Maggie. MAGGIE ( customer) You dont need an air conditioner, Earl, you just need an attic fan -- theres more in the back. Maggie steps be counter of tore and takes the account book out. rails off as she dour expression on the faces of her friends. MAGGIE (contd) ? Peggy nervously mentions the newspaper. PEGGY (delicate) So -- Mag -- youve seen this, huh? MAGGIE (serious) Yes, Ive seen it. And I o say its t and most offensive... joke anybodys ever played on me! to t, Maggie starts smiling. MAGGIE (contd) You guys! ake you? Maggie stays amused. MAGGIE (contd) this done? (laughing) You creeps! I se you! And his is four. PEGGY Uold us to bacte jokes, so ... Maggie looks at tricken face of her friends. MRS. PRESSMAN holy moly. Peggy looks like so cry hy for Maggie. Maggie is starting to feel uncomfortable. She looks down, dubiously, at the paper. MAGGIE Um, you know, now would be a good moment to tell me this is fake. (no response) It be funny if you drag it out. Okay? (no response) Okay, ... Real newspapers smear. Phoney papers dont. S against her apron, leaving an INK SMEAR!! She nearly kneels over. MAGGIE (contd) (sitting) Bag. Peggy and Mrs. Pressman immediately spring to hey give o breathe in. MRS. PRESSMAN Bag. CUt tO: INt. MAGGIES ORKOUt ROOM/GYM - NIGht e see Maggie kickboxing in anger. the radio is on. She suddenly stops, yanks Ikes article off the wall, leaves her area and goes to her desk. ANGLE ON DESK AREA: Surns off to type ter. MAGGIE (V.O.) quot;Dear Editor...quot; EXt. MANtAN - DAY - EStABLIS As Maggies VOICE-OVER continues to read ter, ake in a Mantan busy day. It is big, loud, and anonymous. MAGGIE (V.O.; contd) quot;Greeting from ticks! Perhaps you believe t a rural education is focused mainly on hog calling and tractor maintenance rathan reading. a piece of fiction about me and call it fact?quot; te CAMERA FINDS Ike, striding across a busy street, dodging taxies. A OMAN smacks h a newspaper. he passes a OMAN tRAFFIC OFFICER, t dog stand. s and passes a FALAFEL VENDOR. to a USA today truck. MAGGIE (V.O.; contd) quot;I suppose Mr. Graoo busy tatements about o both something silly like accuracy in reporting. andable, because ;man-eaterquot; like me on time to cs?quot; EXt. USA tODAY LOADING DOCKS - CONtINUOUS he passes regular GUYS who cheer him. MAGGIE (V.O.; contd) quot;Still, ic queens can get pretty cranky whings in print t our feelings, like t ely abandon fiances h malice aforet.quot; INt. USA tODAY LOADING DOCKS - CONtINUOUS ers to Ellies office. INt. USA tODAY OFFICE - CONtINUOUS y room. tracts a lot of attention from tle surprised, but hes pleased. MAGGIE (V.O.; contd) quot;ts wo find Mr. Graor was a woman. Call me a sentimental fool, but I sort of hoped er could stick toget; Ike ors office. ChUFFA Ike greets various o tors secretary, ELAINE. S smile. IKE (to Elaine) Ill put in a good word for you. ELAINE No, no, dont mention my name in there. IKE hy? A buzz. ELAINE You can go in now. Ike goes into Ellies office. Elaine picks up her phone. CUt tO: INt. ELLIES OFFICE - CONtINUOUS ELLIE is t editor. Stylish and successful looking, shes about Ikes age. Ellie sits beh a scowl on ty face. s noncly on ters as Ellie reads Maggies letter. ELLIE (reading letter) quot;Any dropping you big city folk ttle note to say t I have t of a ritual sacrifice t would satisfy my current appetite: Ike Grater. Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. -- I of the gross factual misrepresentations in your article. teen.quot; Ike sits as Ellie puts tter doakes off her glasses. IKE (cs) Fully. I like . ELLIE I left four messages. You dont return my calls. IKE So? I never returned your calls, even ws Fisher doing here anyway? Fiss and places a po of t on a bookshelf on his o the room. FIShER Ellie asked me to come doo offer moral support. IKE Since when does Ellie need moral supp-- ELLIE -- Its for you, Ike. IKE ? ELLIE Journalism lesson number one. If you fabricate your facts, you get fired. Ellie pusoday later across the desk for him to read. Ike picks it up and skims tter. his face is as impassive as stone. IKE Lesson number two. Never work for your former spouse. ELLIE ts not noto do . You cooked tory up and you kno. IKE I didnt cook up a story. I had a source. ELLIE Someone reliable, Im sure. A booze- hound in a bar? FIShER In vino veritas. IKE Dont knock drunk guys in bars. Drunk guys in bars are good. It means t driving. Ike gets up and stands near Ellie, making . IKE (contd) Besides, Im a columnist. t columnists are supposed to do. this is ch, we go out on a limo. ts w makes me good! ELLIE No, ts w makes you unemployed. IKE I merely e tuff. Youre the one t serves it up. Ike puts doter and puts o his pocket. ELLIE Not anymore. I o drahe line. (pushing a piece of paper) S us t. Our lawyers say its actionable. Ellie . IKE (scoffs) Lawyers. (glances at list) I dont know, Ellie -- Firing me is going to be very tougs going to be o get over. there herapy bills for you. ELLIE (shrugs) I already made an appointment for later today. IKE (putting t doanding) See? You custody of my job? ... just consider my slapped and call me when you feel Ive served my time? ELLIE Im sorry, Ike. t. Fis eacher for a sober moment. ELLIE (V.O.; contd) If you go quietly, Ill get you severance pay. Ellie fidgets oy rake, the door. tle at truth of her words and walks out. Ellie collapses back in o her and rubs her shoulders. PART 3 EXt. USA tODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Ike rides sadly on t, gets off and walks out. EXt. IAL StREEt - ANOthER MORNING ANGLE ON MAGGIES hOUSE: A train goes by. A modest clapboard wo entrances. A PAPERBOY tosses a paper onto t of t door opens and Maggie appears fres of bed, and panties. heedless of being seen t to to pick up her delivered paper: USA today. Sears off tic bag and rips into it, looking for ter. S. A smile on o the house. INt. MAGGIES MOMENt Maggie skips back into her and Grandma. A cozy and eclectic place creatively furnished on a sring. So: KItChEN hERE BOB KELLY, fiance #4, is packing cans into a backpack. Bob, 38, has a pleasant face and a body t is almost shockingly buff. hes -s t reads: quot;Mountaineers Do It Against the all.quot;, Maggie dances over, he paper and singing. MAGGIE She canned him, she canned him... Bob test t of te food. BOB Come ry this on. Maggie puts tcer and starts to read aloud, paying no mind to Bob, wicking hrough traps of the backpack. MAGGIE Listen: quot;Dear Ms. Carpenter, I apologize to you for tunate matter. Ike Grahams column will no longer be appearing in this paper. Best of luck in you upcoming marriage!quot; Bob continues to of traps it onto Maggies shoulders. BOB t-a-girl! You sacked him. (checking pack) t of the pack youre going to o carry in the himalayas. tell me if its too heavy. Bob lets go and Maggie FALLS BACKARD, disappearing behe counter, and ting t er. MAGGIE (o.s.) Its a little... Its a little heavy... help me, baby. Bob has no answer. he reaches a hand down. he yelps as Maggie pulls op of of frame. e hem giggle and kiss. INt. USA tODAY LOADING DOCK - ANOthER DAY Fiso s featuring men and women in evening and formal wear from Escada for G.Q. Fis actually sing t rat. Fiso attention. then o tage and sets tions. FISd) Remember, ting t;funquot; back into formal. (to Ike) I just say t for the agency guys. I dont even kno means. Now follow me. INt. USA tODAY OBSERVAtION ROOM - DAY Elevator doors open. Ike and Fis and ohe coffee table. FIShER Ike, I really liked the Runaway Bride piece, and since I do freelance stuff for G.Q., Im in a different position now... IKE are you trying to say to me, Fish? top walking. FIShER Vindication. o get some? A co prove t, though your facts entirely straight, your t. IKE (hiding his hope) tory on Miss Carpenter. FIShER All tails. tart walking again. IKE (excited) tomy of the black widow spider of Maryland. FIShER It be a bad o get you back into ing feature pieces again. IKE (entically) t is a good story, Fish. top at table and grab someto eat. FIShER (nods) If ss a cover story. All true. All accurate. IKE (confesses) Okay, you were riged my column, but I can do t. FIShER t it. If you leave tomorroerlands, youll y of time before rot. IKE quot;Paid vindicationquot; ts w I call justice. FIShER Justice, yes. Paid, I dont know. t my hands are tied restraints. IKE But Ill get my normal fee, right? he walks away. IKE You me to do it on spec?! he follows him. CUt tO: EXt. MARYLAND hIGhAY - DAY e see Ike driving doters a little as inue tion in voice-over. (If needed by tor.) FIShER (V.O.) Dont say quot;specquot; like its a dirty word. Nobody ever paid So e a play! Plato never got a book advance... IKE (V.O.) Oo know from reliable sources t Nietzc expenses and a rental car. e hear Fisher laugh. IKE (V.O.; contd) Im going to make this work, Fish. Im going to do it! Ikes car drives into hale, passing a billboard reading, quot;elcome to ; CUt tO: EXt. REEt - DAY Ike drives douresque Main Street. he passes hale ;At Curl. Be back soon.quot; EXt. AtLANtIC EL - DAY A BARBERSEt is singing in front of tel in town. Ike pulls up and goes inside. INt. LOBBY/AtLANtIC EL - DAY Ike o tlantic el. the clerk, LEE, hands room service and taurant. An OLDER OMAN asks he stairs to his room. EXt. REEt - DAY Ike exits el as tet finishes singing quot;Campto; ery of town, looking exactly like w of on sunny Main Street, USA. KIDS ride by on bikes, streaming balloons bes Ike on the face. As he crosses treet, ters into ape recorder: IKE I think Im in Maryberry. Flags orefronts and th udes as PEOPLE greet eacher familiarly. Ike comes to beauty parlor called quot;Curl Up and Dyequot;. the place is doing business and croh OMEN. INt. BEAUtY PARLOR - DAY Cindy, t, does Mrs. Pressmans nails. Maggie sits on t to Peggys salon che base of a barber cigisfied. Cindys dog is on the floor near Maggie. MAGGIE Cindy, you better 86 Sprout. he seems to be enjoying troleum distillates. Cindy rolls over in her chair, picks up her dog and rolls back to ation. CINDY ts it. Back to obedience school. MAGGIE (to Peggy) Okay -- ... gently, carefully. Peggy sits in the chair. Maggie spins her around and around. PEGGY (delighted as she spins) Youre a goddess! MAGGIE I didnt even need to chis gasket, just put in a little hydraulic fluid. PEGGY Stop it. alk like t, I get turned on and it frightens me. JUSt ters taking off his sunglasses. Peggy he chair. IKE hello. Im looking for Maggie Carpenter. t the ore across treet... PEGGY Are you a reporter? Its a little early in to be thrown off guard. IKE (shocked) ? PEGGY (eyeing his loafers) Its been our experience t anyone of gewgaw on his loafers ends up being anoty reporter ing to interview Maggie. IKE About her upcoming wedding and all. PEGGY No, about ting t asshole from New York fired. Ike smiles do his loafers and shrugs. IKE I am just sucer. And you are? PEGGY Peggy P ter. Peggy steps aside. Ike moves toward Cindy and Mrs. Pressman. IKE And whese lovely ladies? te ladies sroduce themselves. CINDY Cindy. Maggies unmarried cousin. MRS. PRESSMAN Mrs. Pressman. No relation. PEGGY And you are? IKE (turning toward her) Looking for Maggie. PEGGY Yep. Maggie -- Someone to see you. Maggie looks over from ting position on the floor. She gives Ike the shoes. MAGGIE (yelling to Peggy) Reporter? PEGGY Yup! Ike crouco see Maggie on t as so her feet. Ike straig, hrown by her beauty and intelligent eyes. MAGGIE I angle. Its pretty much all been covered. IKE Originality is my speciality. MAGGIE Excellent. PEGGY erviews Maggie in ting . MAGGIE She boss. IKE Sorry, no. I just got one. MRS. PRESSMAN (to Ike) Excuse me, sir. I ual fact for you. IKE (steps to Mrs. Pressman) Yes, Mrs. Pressman. MRS. PRESSMAN Its ime to tar, you kno seven like they said. IKE I knoell me something. Do you to make it all the ime? During t Ike. t Peggy and beckons o a copy of Ikes column affixed to a mirror. A goatee and ure. ;devilizedquot;. Peggy coughs as she recognizes Ike in the newspaper clipping. MAGGIE She swallowed her gun. PART 4 EXt. USA tODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Mrs. Pressman continues ory to Ike. MRS. PRESSMAN Im not sure. Mr. Sche neand, hes our local bookie, you knoo one odds she . he says shes so famous now, maybe Vegas will give odds on her. Im going to to the pros say. IKE Good fact. ell, you let me know. MRS. PRESSMAN Oh, I will. ANGLE ON: Maggie indicates column to Peggy. S t of to wasool and a cabinet affixed to the wall above sink, which holds various ss an idea. Maggie and Peggy step foroward Ike. MAGGIE ell, instead of a , a city grit out of it. IKE Youll ansions? Maggie nods affirmatively. IKE (contd) (removing ) Fine. You washe questions. PEGGY Great. Ike . A mystified Peggy leads Ike to the sink. his... MAGGIE . Peggy, w you give reatment t strengthe follicles. Ike sits in t a smock and puts it around Ike. MAGGIE (contd) So, to know? Ike leans and rests he sink. Peggy bends over him and s s. IKE Getting nervous? MAGGIE Nervous? Not at all! No. Ive never been more certain in my life. Except -- I am having all kinds of weird dreams. Ike pulls th down from over his face. IKE eird dreams? Youre going to tell me about them? MAGGIE Yes. PEGGY (calming) Lets just put the aromatherapy. Peggy recovers inues to fuss he hair coloring products. Maggie helps. INt. BEAUtY PARLOR - LAtER Ike sits owel over he back of o the mirror, his body faces Maggie. Cindy does ctery tickets. t, sits in is basket. MAGGIE In another one... PEtE, door of the salon. PEGGY e, Ill be righ you. Ike peeks out from under oinues. MAGGIE Im inside the church. Everyone I know is t really them. tein monsters, but ts coming out of their necks. Its all very quot;Nighe Living Deadquot;. And part -- I look do my dress and its red. I mean, I it means. Reds not my color! Ike listens intently and stares steadily into her eyes. Peggy removes tos and dyed orange and red. MAGGIE (contd) So hink? Ike stares back at ickle of suspicion creeping up his spine. IKE I think youd look good in red. PEGGY No, salking about your hair. Maggie she mirror. Ike looks at ly colored hair. MAGGIE Youre all ready for football season, Mr. Graham. Ike stares at otal confusion. ith icy calm, Ike rises from he end of his hair as if giving it touchen he sees his defaced newspaper clipping and all becomes clear. icle and s to everyone. Ike does a slow burn. IKE Yes, I ty profile of the women of hale. Ike turns and puts the mirror. IKE (contd) (to Peggy) My jacket, please. Peggy . IKE (contd) (sarcastically) thank you. Ike moves tos Pete. IKE (contd) (putting on jacket; to Pete) Excuse me, Pete, do you know a place t sells srong shampoo? PEtE Docs Pell e sent you. ant my ? IKE No thanks. Ike smiles at Maggie and exits. MAGGIE (to Peggy) he seems crabby. CUt tO: EXt. MAIN StREEt - DAY In front of beauty salon, Maggie follo. MAGGIE If youre looking for Elm Street, its t way. Ss on her sunglasses. IKE thank you. her way. MAGGIE If you came down of as well go back. Because you cant make me feel bad. Sops urns to Ike. IKE Im not o make you feel bad. Im ion. In my ... MAGGIE You have one? Ike o Maggie. IKE I feel Im rig you. You got me fired, lady. You destroyed my reputation and you screwed up my hair. You c t and loved it. And Im doisfy myself on t point. PASSERSBY stare at Ikes hair and giggle. MAGGIE Did someto make you care about reality? IKE Yes. Conviction. Conviction t Im onto truto do the same to quot;poor bastard number fourquot; t you did to t three. Youre going to run again. And Im not leaving until you do. MAGGIE Youre going to be very disappointed. IKE ell see. MAGGIE Id love to stay and c, but Ive got to get back to ill have my job. ares at , stung by her words. MAGGIE I o hide, Mr. Graham. talk to actually stumble upon a fact or two. Maggie eps and stops at a KID on a bike. IKE en bucks for your . Kid agrees. Ike puts t on and starts to cross treet. An OLD OMAN walks by and s h a newspaper. Ike is stunned. EXt. MAGGIES hOUSE - DUSK Maggie pulls into truck. Shes in a fine mood as s in the house. INt. MAGGIES hOUSE - DUSK Bob, alter, and Maggies GRANDMOt in the living room. Grandma is seer drinks wine, Ike wears a . ALtER You know, when I only see one dog, I know Ive oo muco drink. te family dog, Skipper, sits near a ceramic dog table. Maggie smiles as s door and puts down ool box and bag. MAGGIE Youll never guess who came crawling into toail between his legs. IKE (o.s.) ho? Maggie enters to see Ike smiling evilly from on the couch. IKE (contd) (innocently) came by to apologize to your family. (looks to alter) hen Im wrong, Im wrong. I pushed a story. I made a mistake. ALtER In other words -- hes only human. An us a bottle of wine. Raises ttle to Maggie. IKE t my back on. ALtER O of Skipper. MAGGIE Youve got to be kidding me. Maggie stares at th. BOB (enjoying t) No, no, you should have seen Skipper. (tates growling) It t funny. Maggie gives says, quot;You are not absolved.quot; She smiles stiffly, looking back at Ike. Ss on the arm of Bobs cs her arm on his shoulder. MAGGIE So, the forces of good and evil have already met. Maggie takes ttle from table next to alter. She snaps a look to Bob, who follows her. BOB Ill ake into tchen. GRANDMA JULIA Che crabs, Bob. e overones about the wedding plans as t... alter puts down his drink. IKE Gee, I out t t off...? ALtER ell, his we know. IKE You knoer seems... Ike notices t o the veil. GRANDMA JULIA Sorry. IKE ts okay, Grandma. Grandma cuts tes the veil from Ikes sleeve. IKE (contd) (continuing ) ... Like such a lovely girl. alter points to a portrait painting on the wall. ALtER Like her. IKE (seeing trait) Aiful. (gets up to admire trait) I just cant see iple grooms in t like t. GRANDMA JULIA Oh, yes, you can. Shes has em all on tape. IKE Sape? ALtER (good-natured) Yea tel videos wedding. I mean Maggie didnt know she was going to make the hundred-yard dash. alter gestures to a pile of video cassettes on the bookcase. Ike capes. IKE Dads fisrip, Grandmas knee operation, Grandmas birthday... ALtER Gotta tell you t my daughter. My daugime, even in a long dress and heels. Maggie may not be running joke, but sainly is test. alter cracks up. GRANDMA JULIA (sarcastically) ha ha. CLOSE ON: A tape. It reads: quot;Maggie I, II, III.quot; Ikes interest is more t up. t up and go to the dining room. DISSOLVE tO: PART 5 INt. DINNING ROOM/MAGGIES teals food from table. alter scolds er wh his hammer and Ike copies him. ALtER (contd) Emma and I h one c for lacking of trying. MAGGIE t leave anything out. Ikes of o pick it up. ALtER So Ive come to see it as a bonus, really, t o plan, and pay for, so many weddings. MAGGIE Not this ones on me. alter reacts. IKE ts fair. MAGGIE Despite do it on purpose. And I ention of doing it again. BOB ts rig keep your eye on the ball. Ike raises ion. Bob explains. BOB (contd) Sports psyc was my major in college. IKE Ahh. BOB (false modesty) Im toness trainer. Big advocate of the mind and body combining for success. You could say or you can quote me, Im a glass half full king of guy. MAGGIE (boasting) Bobs tment at the football team. And hes climbed Everest. to Maggies satisfaction, Ike ss Bob a look of begrudging respect. Nobody otal clown. IKE (impressed) Everest. Is t right? MAGGIE twice... IKE Really? MAGGIE (sticking it to Ike) it oxygen... BOB My girl likes to brag about me. Bob and Maggie kiss Ike ttle love-birds. BOB (contd) Im taking rekking on Annapurna on our honeymoon. Ike is highly amused. IKE ic. MAGGIE (sharply) e think so. IKE Notial bed wo Sherpas and a yak. alter cracks up, Maggie ss Ike a look. he smiles back. CUt tO: INt. IKES EL ROOM/INt. FIShER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC) INtERCUt tELEPION Fisher and Ellie are exercising. Fisher is on a cycle machine. Ellie does yoga stretcs back on ts on caped V screen. Superimposed titles read quot;Brian Norris ; IKE (to Fiso phone) You believe , Fisape of all train wrecks. tV - CLOSE ter a crowded che groom, Brian, and man at tar. No tar. e see Maggie move a of the church. SS rise in his first he second aisle as ss up to pick up te and ts back doo ch. tape fast-foro t wedding. Now Ike is looking at a muc says, quot;Gill C;. s t-forton (sometimes slowing down). ON tV: e see ters backyard. It is Gill and Maggies URE of hells Angels-types, Deado;altarquot; is a band platform against the back fence. Gill is ing on tform h a rock combo playing Grateful Dead-type music. roductory speech. Maggie steps out onto tiful in a ype wedding ensemble. So a trampoline. e can see attoo. Srampoline, to tch her and body surf her over to the back fence. As ss tage, s Peggy and Gill, then decides to go. Sage and runs up to a passing GUY on a dirt bike. Surns and waves as she rides a;Gill C;. Maggie goes off on dirt bike. tape fast-foro t of Maggies fiascoes. ON IKEStV s outdoors, in a tree lined area, MUSICIANS plays. Ike laug Maggie approacar on e dress, he tape. ON tV: It SAYS, quot;GEORGE SILLING EDDINGquot;. As Maggie rides dohe horse whinnies! Maggie in t rears and bolts, galloping off ape on an image of Maggie, ricken, o sat single frame. As Ike stares at looks at o see . Ss to s a restless look on his face. he stares closely. the bar. IKE Kamikaze! CUt tO: EXt. tE tROUt BAKERY - t DAY Establis of a bakery in hale. Ike exits a neighe block. he pauses in front of to take a look at Maggies truck. As he does, a middle-aged Black OMAN walks by and wh a neunned as surns to a MAN sitting on a bench. IKE Did you see t? CUt tO: INt. tROUt BAKERY - CONtINUOUS CLOSE ON a group of plastic grooms and brides on a counter top. MRS. tROUt is beer ion of grooms for on ter. All sizes and colors, some attaco brides, some solo, some tuxes, some in dinner jackets. MRS. tROUt t oh, youve used t I like te dinner jacket. MAGGIE No, oo blond. MRS. tROUt (picks up another) ell go otal traditional. MAGGIE too dark. ther groom. IKE But ters eyes. Maggie cringes at the sound of Ikes voice. IKE (contd) No -- ters eyes are closer set. Sinues her search. IKE (contd) (to Mrs. trout) Could I wo coffees, please? And wonderful smell? (seeing the cinnamon rolls) Ill hose delicious looking cinnamon rolls. MRS. tROUt Sure. (picking up a miniature bride) he best you. Mrs. trout steps ao get o ther side of Maggie and picks up the bride and groom figure. IKE Lets see... Excuse me, isnt t cute? Ahh... edly knock the groom figure in the head and run away screaming. IKE (contd) Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! Oh, help me! s . Mrs. trout just about bursts a gut laugakes the bride from Ike coldly. MRS. tROUt You must be t Mr. Graham fellow. Ike turns and goes to her. IKE Yes, I am. And who are you? MRS. tROUt Betty trout. Five dollars. IKE (as he pays) Oty. I take it youre going to be making they say youre throwing -- MRS. tROUt (interrupting) -- the luau for Maggie. Sarts picking lint off tons his cuff. MAGGIE (all smiles for Mrs. trout) Grandma made me test outfit. I cant to s to you. IKE (cynical delight) A pre-wedding luau? MRS. tROUt Yes. My husband and I love luaus. Itll be fun. Mrs. trout turns and grabs Ikes bag containing two coffees. IKE Fun? Fun isnt the word. Mrs. trout beams. Maggie understands tle better. Mrs. trout ems and he pays. MRS. tROUt If youre still in town, you should stop by. MAGGIE No, Im sure . IKE (to Mrs. trout) Actually, I o come. (taps her service bell) thank you so much. Maggie steps over, carrying her bride and groom figure choices. MAGGIE (exasperated) Is t o do now? Follow me around everywhere I go? Ike smiles at Maggie enigmatically as he picks up his order and he door. IKE No. arts to leave rout stops him. MRS. tROUt (he other bag) Your two cinnamon rolls. IKE Bye, Betty. thanks. he leaves. MAGGIE a nice person. Maggie rout her bride and broom figures. Maggie looks at Mrs. trout, suddenly nervous. S. Mrs. trout imitates Ike bamming the bride and groom, laughing. CUt tO: PART 6 EXt. BALL FIELD - DAY Various S tEAMS practice. Maggie strides across tball field, a scowl on her face. A few hIGh SChOOL FOOtBALL PLAYERS job past Maggie, doing laps. A boy, KENDALL, calls out to ionately as shem, DENNIS, slows o run alongside Maggie. DENNIS (playful) Maggie, dont marry Coach! Marry me. I love you. MAGGIE Youre jail bait, Dennis. Go away. Run your laps. Go. Go. Dennis runs on as Maggie continues toward her goal: Bob and Ike, standing togethe field. ANGLE ON BOB AND IKE tanding on ter wave of VARSItY FOOtBALL PLAYERS ram into t across top of it. Ike is munching on one of the KIDS. BOB Drive! Drive! From your low, get lo lo! Ike smiles broadly atop of the sled as he sees Maggie approacy peeved. s to Maggie. Bob lig t of her. BOB (contd) Good job, gentlemen... Special teams. tball players move ao Maggie, leaves Ike alone. BOB (contd) (to Maggie) hey, honey! Bob kisses and embraces Maggie. S see Ike immediately, then: MAGGIE (indicating Ike) is o now? BOB Ike just came by to c team. IKE And talk about you. Ike grins and ses in . MAGGIE Bob -- are you making friends his man? BOB Im just bragging about you are. Im t man alive. Bob grabs Maggie around t and smooches her adoringly. Maggie sco Ike. he nods, all charm. IKE ell -- Ive got to get moving -- lot of o do today! Ill see you two love-birds later. Ike leaves. Bob calls after him. BOB See you at the wedding. IKE You bet ya, Coach. Maggie is ag. Sares at Bob. Ike joins in behind a line of peppy cheerleaders. MAGGIE At te him? Bob, dont you realize ing another article about me? BOB Sure I do. But t defense is a good offense, rig going to let your opponent throw you off your game. MAGGIE You dont understand this guy. BOB Let o the wedding. Youre not running, rig. quot;Im not...quot; MAGGIE (irritably) Im not running. BOB So if youre not running and Ike Graham is to see it, ticle he es to have a happy ending, rigurning lemon into lemonade. MAGGIE Ive got ne of sugar and er is going to turn like Grao somet to take on a picnic. Bob gives Maggie a big hug. BOB homemade sunshine? Bob blos Maggie on tball sled. BOB (contd) I you boys to take my princess on tell em where you parked your car. Maggie screams as tball field. INt. CONFESSIONAL BOOth/ChURCh - DAY Maggie kneels, ly. te opens before her. MAGGIE Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was... ahh... Sries to recall. MAGGIE (contd) ... Anyechnical question here. Ive been having -- bad ts. I mean, really bad ts ... PRIESt Of an impure nature? MAGGIE No -- like -- Im h t . I revenge. I to destroy this guys life, career, everythe sin scale, ? I mean, can I quot;; my of it? PRIESt C is... MAGGIE (impatient) t this side of ten years ago t you had your tongue do. So dont call me quot;c;, Brian. It annoys me. PRIESt/ BRIAN No get upset. Brian closes ts MAGGIE (still inside th) Brian, open up. Dont ignore me. Brian leans into eps out to join him. BRIAN Youre not even Catholic, Maggie -- you really s come to confession. le man. ther for a beat. MAGGIE Im sorry. Im just so stressed out about t slime-ball reporter being in town. I jus o come warn you he migart asking you all kinds of ridiculous questions. Brian moves as in a nearby pew. BRIAN Actually, he only asked me one ridiculous question. t so bad. MAGGIE (sliding along the pew) ? You talked to ell ed before you ? BRIAN Yes, yes, Im sure I only did you good, Maggie. MAGGIE did he ask? A woman, MRS. MURPhY, rushes in. MRS. MURPhY Fatoo late? BRIAN No, no. MRS. MURPhY It take long. Jus two venials. to to . BRIAN Only respectful t did we kind of music did you like... Did you ruin my life anding at tar... MAGGIE And w did you say? BRIAN you when clearly w o me is as God intended? MAGGIE (relieved) Good one! thanks. BRIAN It o be how I feel. Brian sits next to Maggie. MAGGIE God... Of course. Im sorry -- I mean, Im... (sighs) Brian -- Ive got to go. the mans a lunatic, but I knoly where hes going next. BRIAN God bless you, Maggie. Surns to rus, tops herself. MAGGIE O, my purse. So to Mrs. Murphy. MAGGIE (contd) Excuse me, sorry, forgot my purse. Good luck. Maggie closes tain and turns to Brian. MAGGIE (contd) ait -- he ridiculous question he asked? Brian smiles mischievously. BRIAN ed to know o like your eggs. MAGGIE eird. Like after all those years you would remem-- Sarts to go, tops in racks as she hears: BRIAN (interrupting) -- Scrambled, , pepper and dill. Same as me. Maggie looks at Brian. Suddenly, soo. MAGGIE (tenderly) Im really sorry t I you, Brian. BRIAN Im o be. But if you ever become a Catholic, may I ask you a favor, Maggie? MAGGIE Of course. BRIAN Could your confess to Fatrick from now on? MAGGIE Of course. And s. Brian goes back into the confessional. EXt. GILLS GARAGE - DAY Maggie drives up to an old brick fire is noo garage. t;Gills Garagequot;. INt. GILLS GARAGE - DAY Maggie rus. Several cars, including a yellow jeep-like car up on a hydraulic lift, are in the funky garage. MAGGIE Gill? Lydia? Gill? A CRAStering in Spanis stumbles GILL ChAVEZ, 34, wearing a grease- stained Grateful Dead tie-dyed t-s. riumply, E tAPE in his hands. GILL ! Maggie regards ient h. MAGGIE Found w? Gill looks up and gives Maggie a fond, hazy smile. GILL Mags! ape from the Radio City Music -- Remember t nigrying to get Jerry to let me sit in on quot;Ripplequot;? tte from its case. Its broken. tape is dangling from tte. GILL (contd) (disappointed) O for you. Gill picks up an electric GUItAR and starts to play PART 7 MAGGIE (ss over the music) Listen, Gill -- ter whos ben making my life a living hell ... If talk to ever yo do.... (crosses to Gill) ... Dont s picture of me at t in San Francisco -- Suddenly, a loud Ces from the car overhead. MAGGIE (contd) ? Maggie stops Gill from playing. Ss her ex an angry glare and moves a lever on the car descends. GILL e to San Francisco twice. Remember one time ire... ure? As t slohe car is lowered, revealing Ike sitting in t. he pograph hes holding. IKE (feigning shock) Imagine! Maggie Carpenter topless in a public arena. (co again) And I see the air. Maggie so, but Ike is faster at pulling it away. MAGGIE Give me t! IKE But t interesting thing here is t I dont see tattoo t Ive on your back. Gill takes off ar and sets it down. GILL Ike bet me fifty bucks you dont still , Mags. I said quot;Youre on, man! Maggie loved t t; And I could really use fifty bucks. Maggie is conspicuously silent. GILL (contd) (looking worried) Mags? MAGGIE Im not gonna shing. I am a soon-to-be-married woman. Now give me t pograph. Maggie seethes. IKE Sure, I o give to you. Just give us one quick gander at t rose, and, Ill gladly over. Sries to grab to again. Ike pulls it away. MAGGIE Fine. here. Maggie quickly turns around and pulls do, revealing top of ine expanse of skin. No tattoo. MAGGIE (contd) (turning back around) Satisfied? IKE Completely. Gill is still trying to grasp this. GILL Maggie? You got it removed? IKE Gill, Ill go ya double or nothing if ick-on. GILL (dismayed) Maggie? MAGGIE (admitting) Im really, really afraid of needles... It doesnt make me a bad person. Ike laug ically pulls do of -s. GILL Look. t is on Gills c: tattoo. Maggie sighs, pained. Gill s to Ike. Ike looks at tattoo. he s Maggie. IKE (sincerely) Look, look, man. I the man is broken. MAGGIE ! Maggie moves to to from Ike and exits. GILL I think I am. Gill grabs ar and sits. GILL (contd) would Jerry do? t stops moving. Ike leans out. IKE Jerry. hed play. hed play... Jerry . Ike sings and taps along in tempo on the car as Gill sings and plays quot;Ripplequot;. CUt tO: EXt. EL PORC DAY, SAtURDAY MORNING As Maggie drives into toh Sruments as a blues band. Ike is not bad on slide guitar. they all like Ike. Maggie quot;C; h Peggy and moves on. EXt. SOFtBALL FIELD - LAtER t DAY CLOSE ON: tcball. A bat connects. NE ANGLE: A big s out ting as umpire, yells, quot;Safe!quot; happy, Cory turns to tands and waves. ANGLE ON: Maggie and Peggy, cries to whoop harder t t ough. From firs base, Cory waves back to t back doakes back up ion. Maggie is still al steamed up. MAGGIE Okay, alk about my life noo turn t tattoo stuff into a big deal -- t I Gill, blaotally out to get me. PEGGY For w reason? Some personal satisfaction? MAGGIE ts w if hinks t I dont realize ing anoticle, t. PEGGY Its probably because you got him fired. MAGGIE (sarcastic) Ya think? PEGGY Not t deserve to get fired... Look! Corys going for second!... Sneaky! ANGLE ON: Cory as s throw for t. the women jump and cheer -- Maggie, again, t boisterous. ANGLE ON: Dennis recognizes Ike as ells Ike t he is going to marry Maggie some day and shows Ike where Maggie is sitting. ANGLE ON: Maggie spots Ike as t back down. She groans. MAGGIE there he is. Snoop Doggy-Dogg. PEGGY here? MAGGIE Over ten oclock. alking to our little Dennis. Dennis urn into one of t;sources sayquot; things. PEGGY ter stuff out of tractive man. Ike finds Maggie in the crowd and leaves Dennis. MAGGIE Id say youve been in too long. You handle him, okay? I could use five minutes off from t creep. Before Peggy can protest, Maggie climbs dohe bleachers and goes and stands near t near t of Corys team. PEGGY Okay, ts fine. I can do t. Ike comes up to Peggy. IKE ;not terquot;. Ike indicates t next to Peggy. PEGGY (protesting weakly) ts Maggies seat... Ike sits doably. IKE ... And this is Maggies beer. arts drinking it. ON tting ready to steal third. IKE (contd) t your there? Cory Phleming, a local radio announcer. PEGGY ened to his morning show, quot;ake up ;? IKE Not yet. I had a phlemless morning. I ty good ballplayer. PEGGY tty important to him. ars in high school, you know. IKE t must have made you proud. Peggy takes a small sip off her soda. PEGGY hen. (quickly) hey o get... t dated for a while. Cory dives in for t. the crowd goes wild. Peggy yells and jumps in. PEGGY (contd) Good job, honey! But Maggies all. Cory not at Peggy. s at Maggie, who jumps up and do. Ike looks between Cory, Maggie and finally, Peggy. Peggy jerks o s down. Ike pretends not to iced. tch as Maggie and Cory smile at eacher. IKE Its nice t till friends. PEGGY (looking at Maggie and Cory) O ime ago. See, s a man-er at all. Sive of men... Next BAttER s one to deep left field and it lands in the grave yard. Cory scores, greeted by Maggie. Ike and Peggy ch as Cory and Maggie belly-bump and her in celebration of Corys play. No looks at Peggy. Ike keeps an empatic silence, seeing t Peggy is truly . PEGGY (contd) Ill be back in a second. Suddenly, Peggy stands, pus eps. Maggie looks up just in time to catc. Ike pulls ape recorder out of and starts speaking into it. Maggie ss Ike an accusing look, o he bleacs next to him. MAGGIE Youve been es. did you do to her? IKE You can turn t finger around. Ike does an on-tton imitation of Maggie jumping excitedly at Cory. Noing at. MAGGIE (defensive) You misinterpret everything. eve all been friends our w ts types of relationship you understand. IKE Obviously, Im not the only one who doesnt understand it. the USS Maggie leaves quite a wake... Excuse me. Ike ries to seem enthused. MAGGIE See, I c is he, a cheer critic? EXt./INt. StREEt/BAR - LAtER - DUSK Sitting in front of Inn ENDER pantomiming he reins of a wildly galloping horse. eve seen somethis before. Maggies wild ride away from as Maggie drives by this. MAGGIE (to herself) tops. INt. AtLANtIC EL - NIGht Maggie o t desk of tel, where Lee is sleeping up. S off ter. MAGGIE Lee, o ters room. I to snoop around. LEE (he key) Okay. Second floor. MAGGIE thanks. LEE Dont take anything big. Maggie moves up tairs towards Ikes room PART 8 INt. AtLANtIC EL - S LAtER Maggie owards Ikes room, c no one sees her and enters. INt. IKES EL ROOM - CONtINUOUS Maggie lets room and turns on ts on. Ss on audio cassette on the door. She te up to t to read tten label. It says quot;Miles Davisquot; on it. Ss tape. She o the living room. MAGGIES POV: Ike -its on a framed picture, using the frame as a bulletin board. Post-it notes lay out tion he has gats quot;Mot; deceased, sub;alterquot; and t;Brianquot;, quot;Gillquot;, and quot;Bobquot;. Maggie smiles and shakes her head. She rips one post-it do to herself. MAGGIE (reads) quot; all to propose? S t beautiful.quot; (snorts) Bite me, paper boy. S-it off ture frame. MAGGIE (contd) (as sakes post-its) Rude... S and furious, them in her shoulder bag. INt. AtLANtIC EL INUING Ike comes doo be shined. BACK INSIDE thE ROOM Maggie, looking around, discovers the coffee table and grabs t, too. MAGGIE (contd) thief! to ts and locks t as Ike enters, antly knohing is up. es gone and a glimpse of Maggie as she closes teaming. A BUMP sounds from to tries the handle. Its locked. arts to pound on the door. IKE All righere... You steal my research... Youre messing amendment now. Open up. Open up. You got no place to go. INt. IKES EL BAtINUING Ikes rying to open t bats stuck. Shtub, opens t arts to climb out. IKE I to have a very serious discussion o why youre such a pain in the ass. e throom door. As Ike breaks in, o ter her. EXt. IKES EL INDO - CONtINUOUS IKE (contd) ts breaking and entering. Ill call the sheriff. MAGGIE You do t. And remind him hes bringing to thanks. She building and runs off. Ikes neigs reading near his window. CUt tO: EXt. MAGGIES Establishing. INt. MAGGIES CLOSE ON: A CASSEttE PLAYER. e see tten label: quot;Miles Davis.quot; quot;Kind of Bluequot; plays as Maggie listens in a c-its she stole from Ikes room. e see as s;Fatwo- fisted drinker,quot; quot;Peggy, best friend, but Peggy doesnt totally trust Maggie,quot; quot;Bobquot; -- doesnt love him. Overwhelmed, she finis note, leans back, puts up on table, deep in the melancholy music. t note on t to her chair. It reads: quot;S;. FADE tO BLACK. FADE IN: EXt. MAIN StREEt/BEAUtY PARLOR - NEXt DAY Its early morning. Mrs. Pressman hands Peggy a cup of coffee to go. Peggy o ty parlor, unlocks t door and goes in. INt. BEAUtY PARLOR - DAY Peggy enters and starts about ies. Surns on ts and turns and sees her friend, Maggie. MAGGIE Do you t h Cory? Peggy stops in rack. Maggie is sitting curled up in a salon c slept. PEGGY Good morning to you, too. You look good. MAGGIE t h Cory? PEGGY Yes. Maggie looks miserable. MAGGIE I dont mean it. Peggy moves to th her cup of coffee. PEGGY I knoimes you just sort of spaz-out h random excess flirtation energy and it just lands on anyt moves. MAGGIE On anyt moves? As opposed to anyt doesnt move? Peggy pours of its Styrofoam cup into a ceramic mug. PEGGY Like certain kinds of coral. Peggy sits in t to Maggie. MAGGIE Im going to kill myself. PEGGY hy? MAGGIE Because you t;hey man, cquot;. PEGGY (friendly) No, I dont t;Im cerious in a even I dont understand and something about me is crying out for protection from a big man like youquot;. Very hard to compete o us married ery. MAGGIE But you lost your mystery! Youre very mysterious! PEGGY No. Im erious are t things. MAGGIE But Im weird. PEGGY No. Youre quirky. Quirky and weird are t things. MAGGIE Peggy, tinct possibility t I might be profoundly and irreversibly scree t, I love you and I can promise t I h Cory, and I beg your forgiveness. Maggie looks ready to cry. PEGGY Im not you and Cory or Cory and me or even t youre irreversibly scre, Maggie, youve been like this since we were kids. And I t you are a and t it s peoples feelings, maybe its time to move on to someone of your own, like Bob, if he one. MAGGIE I t. (then) Is to make it up to you? PEGGY Somet brings o my . (pause) Duckbill platypus. MAGGIE Its only funny at Camp Birc t a tick . Its not anymore. Maggie makes laugh. PEGGY Youre rigs not funny now. Maybe h grew up. MAGGIE thanks. ill you fix my hair? CUt tO: EXt. MAGGIES ER t MORNING Maggie exits s on owards town. INt. IKES EL ROOM - LAtER t MORNING Ike is still in bed. retches, and is about to the silence. MAGGIE Freeze. o those covers -- I didnt come o see Ike Junior. Maggie smiles c Ike from t of the bed. he narrows her. IKE I take it the desk clerk is one of your many admirers. MAGGIE (deadpan) ? Im not t beautiful. Ike notices Maggie is wo coffees. IKE Coffee. Now. Maggie to him. MAGGIE Youre es made interesting bedtime reading -- if you like trasion. Your observations are distorted, ungrounded an incomplete. You must be very proud. IKE Im not a boastful man. s your point? Ike puts a s on as Maggie speaks. MAGGIE My point is t one again, youre getting it all improve your reputation any, and its not very flattering to me either. So, Im going to give you a co e truth. IKE Really. Maggie turns away from him as he dresses. MAGGIE Ive decided to cooperate and let you interview me. (beat) For a thousand bucks. Ike clears as ands putting s on. MAGGIE (contd) I a big wedding and a killer dress and for a grand I will answer all your questions and let you follow me around. Ike takes s to the window. IKE My magazine doesnt pay because for stories. Its not hical. MAGGIE O making up ts as you go along is etually, I meant you. You probably got severance or expenses or botake your check. No credit cards. IKE (to Maggie) Youve seen t-its. Ive already got more juicy material than I need. hy should I pay you dollar one? MAGGIE Because I ting on spec and person interview, you migually sell t thing. Ike knows s. IKE too much. MAGGIE Seven-fifty. IKE Five hundred. MAGGIE Six-fifty. IKE Done. Sco t to her. Maggie looks at it and smile sly. CUt tO PART 9 EXt. MAGGIES hOUSE - DAY Ike jogs alongside of Maggie on her bike. Maggie parks her bike and to the house. INt. MAGGIES FOYER AND StAIRS - DAY Maggie leads Ike upstairs to her workroom. MAGGIE Pardon t cleaned since th grade. INt. MAGGIES ORKROOM - LAtER Insert on a cappuccino machine. e PULL BACK and see Maggie and Ike standing at able. An automatic cappuccino maker stands on table. Its base is made from a used paint mixing mac looks very suristic. Maggies logo quot;MAGquot; is on t steams the cappuccino. Ike notices anotable. IKE (contd) s this over here? MAGGIE Its a birt for my cousin. Put your finger in. IKE Cindy t. s he machine. MAGGIE No, ther one. s urns it on. the brusate. IKE (laughing) this is wonderful. You reconfigure all trial parts and you do somet. s some gadgets and lamps on anotable. o them. IKE (contd) Amazing. Found industrial stuff. illoa lamp... er. Eacs a quot;MAGquot; logo. IKE (contd) Is this your preferred logo? MAGGIE I think so. IKE I like it. tty incredible. (studying a lamp) I this lamp idea in New York. MAGGIE Maybe someday. IKE You afraid to try? MAGGIE (stares at him) No, Im not afraid. Just... Maybe someday. IKE ell, Im impressed. Absolutely incredible. (sitting) I didnt expect pink and lacy, but this isnt exactly a womans room. MAGGIE an incredible cic observation. INt. MAGGIES LIVING ROOM - A BIt LAtER t DAY Maggies s rings. MAGGIE ts Brians. ook me ut canoeing on the ring in a velvet box. Ike snores. Maggie s him. MAGGIE (contd) (defensive) It was classic. Maggie he shape of a Grateful Dead rose. MAGGIE (contd) Gill. Of course. the tie-dye t-s stand at a Dead concert. It until ed t t was a blood-sucking space alien. IKE Always a mood killer. MAGGIE Still s. Maggie s in tterfly and studded i-color gems. MAGGIE (contd) George. a butterfly farm in St. the ring was inside a cocoon. IKE (grimacing) Its a little quot;Silence of t; for me. I cant believe you ed for to run. MAGGIE omologist! I t it was very unique. No;#1quot; h a diamond set into the number. MAGGIE (contd) And Bob. he proposed during tretch... Ike touco examine the ring more closely. her surprise at ouch shows on her face as she finishes her sentence. MAGGIE (contd) ... At an Orioles game. Sakes eps away. IKE ait. Dont tell me. the scoreboard lit up ;Mary me, Maggie.quot; Ike picks up he couch. MAGGIE It wonderful moments of my life. Cal Ripken even applauded. IKE (stopping) . MAGGIE do you mean? It was incredibly romantic! IKE Maybe its just me, but -- if you got to dress it up, it doesnt ring true. Ike moves back to the couch. IKE (contd) I t anybody can ly say is, quot;Look...quot; (sits on the arm of the couch) quot;I guarantee t well ough times. I guarantee t at some point one or bot to get out of t I also guarantee t if I dont ask you to be mine, Ill regret it for t of my life. Because I know in my -- youre t; Maggie stares at Ike for a beat. aken a little bit of h away. She covers. MAGGIE I like it. So a cs. MAGGIE (contd) Id like it better on a scoreboard. (lightly) Is t how you proposed when you asked your o marry you? Ike is taken aback. MAGGIE (contd) Dont look so surprised, youve got divorce ten all over you. IKE Im a work in progress. MAGGIE So? Is t o her? IKE No. I t like, quot;So, uh -- maybe we should, ya kno; MAGGIE Nos romantic. A proposal like t and you didnt find eternal bliss? wrong? Ike takes a swallow of cappuccino. IKE I dont know. MAGGIE You dont know. IKE No. MAGGIE Maybe you sime. Ever t of t? Ike is restless. ands up. IKE Call me crazy, but I believe t check I gave you entitles me to ask the questions for a while. Ike puts dos close to Maggie. MAGGIE Fair enough. (t) Actually... Maggie move to tV. Solen post-it notes and op of tV, and goes to t door. MAGGIE (contd) Ill just need one more day to make sure your check clears. IKE Ow! DISSOLVE tO: EXt. REEt - t DAY Ike and Maggie drive in Maggies truck. t of a Bridal Shop. A spectacular dress fills ts beautiful, romantic, sexy. Maggie and Ike can be seen in tion. MAGGIE Even s happened Ive still never been married and I still deserve a beautiful dress. IKE Agreed. Maggie gives Ike a smile t lighey go inside. INt. BRIDAL ShOP - DAY to go in tri-County area. A little FLOER GIRL, 10, is being fitted on tal in the room. A saleswoman, POLLY, aken th under t eyes of a stern looking ENMEYER, tching. POLLY (to ther) Stiest little flower girl in your daughters wedding. MAGGIE Mr. tenmeyer. hi, Polly! the flower girl sees Maggie and runs and hides behind Polly. POLLY o excuse her, Maggie. Some of the children are afraid of you since you dragged t little boy up the aisle. MAGGIE I didnt drag. (to the girl) ripped on his shoelaces. Mrs. tenmeyer comes foro greet Maggie. MRS. tENMEYER Youve come for your dress. Good! Ill get it from the back. Maggie leads o t window. MAGGIE (happily) Actually, I o get this dress. Ss to to Mrs. tenmeyer, expecting o stenmeyer darkens. MRS. tENMEYER (to Polly) Polly, take Leslie into change. (to Maggie) But the one you have on hold is lovely. MAGGIE (pleasantly) Yes. But Ive changed my mind. MRS. tENMEYER Its one thousand dollars. Maggie is keenly aening in. MAGGIE I housand dollars. MRS. tENMEYER (firmly) three hundred dollars. Maggie loion of the moment. MAGGIE Is this dress for sale? MRS. tENMEYER It just seems like an a of money to spend on one of your dresses, Maggie... You only ten minutes. Ike c as Maggies chusiasm drains aless assault of tarting to see t its no always easy being Maggie. tremor in her voice. MAGGIE Yeas a good point. (tting) ther dress is nice. Ike calls out to Mrs. tenmeyer. IKE Mrs. tenmeyer. May I talk to you for a second? So him. IKE (contd) I dont knohis kind of t of town. Youre a salesperson, rigo sell wedding dresses. MRS. tENMEYER (huffy) Yes. Ive been y years. IKE Perfect. Because Miss Carpenter is o buy one. But not just any one. Ss t one. MRS. tENMEYER Its a thousand dollars! Ike goes over and takes t of the window. Mrs. tenmeyer catcs the mannequin under his arm. IKE (contd) Look, Aunt Bea, his beautiful dress and anything else she s or Im coming back h a squirt gun filled h India ink. Mrs. tenmeyer s under Ikes fierce gaze. Surns to Maggie. MRS. tENMEYER ill ? Maggie gives her a look. MR. tENMEYER (contd) (to Maggie) ell, some accessories his ready, dear. Polly, will you come help me, please? Polly comes to he mannequin away. ANGLE ON POLLY AND MRS. tENMEYER: POLLY (enmeyer) Its a thousand dollars. MRS. tENMEYER She man has ink! Maggie looks gratefully at Ike. IKE tougo spend money in town. tIME CUt: A FE MINUtES LAtER: Ike sits as he hears Maggies voice behind him. MAGGIE (o.s.) do you think? Ike turns around. Maggie is standing on tal, wearing the dress and looking unbelievably gorgeous. She is overwhelming to beo struggle to keep rol. IKE (stammering) You look... uh... You look fine. MAGGIE Fine. the newspapers upside down. ts better than fine. IKE Bob will be very happy. S bethem is broken as she suddenly remembers somethe veil off her head. MAGGIE Bob! I almost forgot! I o meet Bob! PART 10 INt. DINER - DAY t place -- a major he food is greasy and good, Mrs. Pressman is tress, and the CROD t is a small town. Bob, Maggie and Ike sit on ter. Mrs. Pressman C the corner. BOB Mrs. Pressman, I to order. MRS. PRESSMAN ere out the special because somebody... (indicates COOK h head) ... didnt order enough sausage. BOB Let me te. Egg wes only. Ike looks at Maggie. a t shed say next. MAGGIE Ill he same. IKE (clears ) Of course. MAGGIE ? I cant order my eggs sarcasm? BOB Neutral corners you the same team noing and its fifteen minutes in ty box. (gently, to Ike) Maggies t person youll ever meet. But s t to start focusing more in here. (taps ) ts wever you to call it -- problems in the past. (to Maggie) ts w were working on -- focus. Right, Maggie? Focus on Maggie. Focus on Bob. As Bob alking, Ike ching Maggies face. to of her. MAGGIE (quietly) Right. BOB (to Ike) I lead Maggie tion exercise. All ts shrinks use tuff. Visualize the end zone, if you catc. Bob takes out a notepad and to Maggie. BOB (contd) odays mantra: quot;Its an open field to Big Bob.quot; IKE tell me. to tar, ? MAGGIE You knoheres no... Before Maggie can finisercepts her. IKE ell, Im off. A reporters work is never done. (o the door) Mrs. Pressman, thank you. MRS. PRESSMAN tootaloo. INt. AtLANtIC EL - MOMENtS LAtER GRANDMA JULIA (V.O.) Id like to explain about the weddings. t come off. t;I dosquot;. You cant believe how much cake we were left hree think her father minded spending so much money on booze t nobody drank. e el doors, ts a bag from inside truck and comes inside tel o Grandma, tA. MAGGIE Ike... hi, Grandma. IKE Gram o give me the skinny on wal bliss. GRANDMA JULIA Rigta. Its not t she wedding, s. Innocent girls are terrified of quot;the one-eyed snakequot;. (getting into it) ook a knitting needle o the bed... Ike winces. MAGGIE Actually, Grandma, I che one- eyed snake awhile ago. GRANDMA JULIA O. Ill tell you one t forget t . (no Netta) You can take your hands off your ears, Netta. Your teas getting cold. MAGGIE Can you excuse us a minute? (to Ike) May I h you, please? Maggie moves toward door. IKE Bye, Netta... Bye, Grandam. eps over to Maggie in the doorway. MAGGIE I found t kno was someteresting. Maggie ;Kind of Blue.quot; IKE (excited) Os Miles Davis. this is quot;King of Bluequot;! the original recording. o find in good condition. here did you find this? MAGGIE (casual) It tic. It was jus sitting t. IKE Its valuable. o it. MAGGIE No. You take it. Seps outside, leaving Ike he record. IKE w kind of music I like and then finding me a rare album. Youre not trying to soften me up, are you? MAGGIE No -- Im cleaning an attic. I attempt the impossible. Surns and o the diner where Mrs. Pressman is outside ering plants. Ike looks after Maggie and then back do t makes him sad. CUt tO: INt. IKES CAR - LAtER t DAY Ike drives t food bag in hE INN hALE BAR, same dump of a tavern alked to bartender at. ANGLE ON: MAGGIES CAR parked a few cars down. he pulls over and parks. s out and speaks into ape recorder. INt./EXt. thE INN hALE BAR -- DAY Ike approacheres a DRUNK MAN and a DOG sitting outside. Inside, he back, arms around eacely Maggie. ther is definitely not Bob. MAGGIE (coaxing) Cmon. Lets go. As Maggie up, its alter, Maggies father -- dead drunk. ALtER (belligerently) I your drivers license... tumble and lurcing toward Maggies car. MAGGIE Im not exactly her... Steady. ALtER (to Dog) Good boy, Port hole. MAGGIE eady. ALtER I c. (to Drunk) See you later, Mr. travis. (to Maggie) t guy has a problem... Maggie, you can run everyones life but your own. Maggies rouble keeping eady as she car door. Ike is to er into the car. ALtER (contd) Good daug thers pass out. alter passes out on t seat. MAGGIE ( difficulty) Ike... Please dont e anything about this -- IKE No. Forget about it. Dont even think about it. Maggie looks at itude. She car door s. MAGGIE atch your leg, Dad. (to Ike) Im so tired of this. IKE you let off in trunk. Ill take you for a ride. then well come back for him. (to Drunk on bench) Keep an eye on him. DRUNK MAN Im too loaded. IKE I alking to the dog. (turning to Maggie) All right? Maggie t t. Sakes a deep breath. MAGGIE Okay... Ill just grab my jacket. CUt tO: EXt. ROAD - LAtE DUSK tO NIGht Establishing of Ikes car driving. INt. IKES CAR - LAtE DUSK tO NIGht Maggie and Ike ride along. IKE My dad managed a business and two mistresses. ed me to be a novelist. More? Maggie nods, IKE (contd) My moted me to become a musician. 0 for t at least Im a journalist and we all know journalism is literature in a hurry PART 11 EXt. IKES CAR - COUNtRY ROAD - NIGht Ike and Maggie stare forh seem in melancholy moods. to sense trouble here. Suddenly, ters and jerks. It so a stop on the shoulder of the car backfires and smokes. EXt. IKES CAR - COUNtRY ROAD - NIGht Ike and Maggie sit in teaming car for a moment. MAGGIE Your filters clogged. takes unleaded. IKE Can you fix it? MAGGIE First I o find some tools. I need a enth. IKE (removing his glasses) Of w? MAGGIE (in amazement) renc one. Maggie slams the food closed. IKE Kind of isolated. MAGGIE Yeas kind of nice. An uncomfortable silent pause. Ike breaks t. IKE thing we New Yorkers know o do is heres no cab, we walk. Ike stares off does a building in tance, turns off ts. MAGGIE I can get some tools over there.... and save ttery... thing ry girls kno across a field. Its quicker. Maggie points diagonally across to ion sign glos from ter winkle. o the field. MAGGIE (contd) Be careful of snakes. IKE Snakes? Are you serious? I dont like snakes. Ive never even seen a snake. eps carefully into toward Maggie. MOMENtS LAtER Maggie leads Ike through a cornfield. MAGGIE Do you t person for everybody? Ike chooses his words carefully. IKE No. But I ttraction is too often mistaken for rightness. Attraction is very misleading. And if its mutual, its erribly distracting. MAGGIE Yes it is. And it doesnt mean anything. Ike nods as to a wooden fence. Ss her hand on s s to give her a boost over top. e see tanding cross Maggies face at tial contact. Neithem moves -- for tricity is obvious. ANGLE ON: Ike. ed feelings are apparent. ith difficulty, Maggie straigh quickly remove their hands. MAGGIE (contd) (lightly) I suddenly forgot o climb a fence. t eac, then: MAGGIE AND IKE (breaking the moment jokingly) quot;toolsquot;. Shey see an old guy, LIONEL, wtling on a porch. MAGGIE (contd) Lionel, can I borroools? IKE Yeah, we need a half and nine- sixteenths. LIONEL Gonna bust out of another wedding? IKE Youre sure well known around here. EXt. FIS DAY Establis. INt. FISChEN (NYC) - DAY INt. IKES EL ROOM - DAY INtERCUt BEtEEN tO LOCAtIONS: Ike sits on ing his breakfast. cape again. Fisher is cooking an elaborate breakfast. Ellie rusting ready for work. o Ike. FIShER (into phone) Yes, she may be running because ss attention... Negative attention is attention. Like because of your column, ts negative attention. IKE (V.O.) t ive attention, not mine. Did you get the reimbursement for t? FIShER (into phone) No, Im paying for the dress. Do you till gonna run? IKE (V.O.) I dont know. Ellie enters tcion and shakes her head to up. INt. IKES EL ROOM - CONtINUOUS very o gloat. Fisher is annoying him. IKE (into phone) Look -- Ill be in ter today. Ill come by and tell you all about it. FIShER (V.O.) Youre coming here? IKE (into phone) Yeah. FIShER (V.O.) then come for dinner. IKE (into phone) Okay, . FIShER (V.O.) Order out like a Pine, when you got t here?... Ike che George Swilling wedding video. INt. NE YORK BAR - DAY the same man Ike talked to before, is sitting on a stool, nursing his drink. ter. Ike enters. George looks up and recognizes Ike, ool next to him. IKE Get this man a Kamikaze. GEORGE Splendid dissection of Maggie Carpenter, very professional job. Ike sits and leans over to George. IKE (whispers) You could old me you were fiance number three. GEORGE And end up in the papers? Ive been ed enougo last a lifetime, t you canned. IKE thanks. GEORGE Sradictions. IKE ell, Im ing anoticle on the cacophony. GEORGE A stay away from her, can you? Like a moto a flame. IKE Guess youd kno t. Youre an entomologist, right? hows business? GEORGE (taking a sip of his drink) Not bad. I raveling around studying tive and migratory patterns of locusts w me. IKE (sarcastic) Neuter a locust, feed the world. GORGE Not t Africa and China. Ike his guy under . GEORGE (contd) You knohe only girl I ever met ula. On t date. IKE (contd) So, tell me, George, whink she ran? GEORGE Same as you said. did you call ;man-eaterquot;, quot;a devouring death goddess.quot; IKE I dont ts why she ran. GEORGE hink she ran? Ike sips his drink before answering. IKE I dont kno. I rack. GEORGE And you defending her? IKE No. I call it like I see it. Im a journalist. Im a truteller. GEORGE Unbelievable, s to you. IKE Oh, please! GORGE Join the club. (passing him his drink) han me. George . IKE (protecting, taking ape recorder out of ) Im ing an article, Im getting paid to do ts going to be a cover story, its going to be published ... ts will be read someday. As George pauses in tape recorder. IKE (contd) kind of eggs did she like? GEORGE Poac like me. George exits. CUt tO: EXt. NE YORK StREEt/FIShER AND ELLIES BUILDING - DAY Ike reet toward Ellie and Fisher. CUt tO: INt. FISMENt (NYC) - NIGht Ellie is on ters s at the piano. FIShER (sarcastically) Overpriced nice apartment and Chinese takeout. ts New York living. ELLIE (into phone) ... Just call me w. (o Fisher) Ike, ory coming? Is she a man-eater? FIShER Or a vegetarian? ELLIE Or does s;NGBSquot; -- quot;Nice Guys, But...quot; Nice guys, but Im cheap. Nice guys, but h his mom... Nice guys, but out of prison. IKE No... teresting guys. Each one of thing going for . Anot. Ones a pretty good guitar player. And this guy today tried to end world hunger, if you can believe t... FIShER ting a complex, buddy? ELLIE Fis alk. IKE (sits) But one of t one of t all. Each one was convinced t s for them, but t see her. And she never s see her. Its a very symbolic thing happening. S sed to be. Fis like t Ellie, who is looking very interested. FIShER (in shock) Ike is turning sensitive and I cant bear to co make a fres of tea. ts. Ike goes to the piano as Ellie picks up the phone. ELLIE (into phone) Yeah... Oh, Jay... Okay... Bye. (o Fisher) Fis forget tune cookies. S ts serious. IKE Is t o you? Is t see you? ELLIE No. No, you didnt. he hugs her. IKE (felt) ell -- Im sorry, Im really sorry, Ellie. ELLIE Im sorry, too. (beat) o only took us between years to say. Ellie blinks back sentimental tears. CUt tO PART 12 EXt. tROUtS BARN - t NIGht e ruck S drive up and s. INt. tROUtS BARN - NIGht Its a small barn ts been converted into a luau h a bar. A BAND plays for ts ed it as a little slice of iki lights, numerous rented plastic palm trees and fiberglass copies of hawaiian statuary. Strings of colored lighe ceiling. It looks like a . Maggies family, Mrs. trout and people , and more, are tropical drinks garnished ic leis abound and most people have managed to find ts. As heir applause and Mrs. trout announces. op. LOU tROUt elcome to our annual country luau. As you knoty and I got married on ter, Diamond head. MRS. tROUt (grabbing the microphone) ting our first dance to to-be nehe King and Queen of hawaii, Maggie and Bob. ters. Bob is a goody bronzed god in his King Kamafit. Maggie is spectacular in ic looking -up. But s none of tivities around hen, she looks up and glances around for Ike, ing . MRS. tROUt (contd) King and Queen, dance. Maggie and Bob start to dance as ter sings quot;Alo; MRS. tROUt (contd) Everybody dance. Everybody dances. tIMES OUt: Maggie and Bob pose for pictures s. MRS. tROUt Pictures of the King and Queen. Dennis poses rout runs out of film and goes to get more, leaving Peggy and Maggie alone. Peggy wo Maggie. PEGGY Lighten up, wahine. MAGGIE Lig? PEGGY ty is for you and Bob. Get your mind off ter. MAGGIE I seen y-four hours. It just gives me ttle bit. Id feel better if I knew where he was. PEGGY (nods to door) ould it? ANGLE ON: Ike just entering ty. At least ried. a tropical s wrapped around s and s. o ted s very flustered. PEGGY (contd) are you doing? MAGGIE (after a beat) Im going to go dance h Bob. Because he man. (referring to her headdress) I like those grapes. Maggie dances affectionately rout, tending bar, greets Ike. LOU tROUt o our luau. can I get you? IKE You got somet a toy in it? tIME CUt: A LIttLE LAtER - CLOSE ON A pair of expressive pantomime quot;A Little Grass S;. PULL BACK tO REVEAL: Mrs. trout is on stage, introducing estants. Grandma judges ty is at full tilt -- a little tle goofy. Some guests (Bob, Cindy, Cory, Lee and ted) do ter, Mrs. Pressman doesnt turn as she hears him. IKE Alos a very fetching headdress youre wearing. Ike leans into Maggie, enjoying the smell of her hair. She notices, but acts casual. MAGGIE o? IKE Missed me bad, huh? tIME CUt: All ts start banding ter rises unsteadily, lifting his pineapple. MRS. tROUt Attention. Listen to alter. Listen close, he slurs. (then) S up, wahines! ALtER In tradition t hrough t is nooast time! First up, our , quot;A ;, Lou trout.. Lou trout stands h his glass raised. LOUt tROUt May t be filled h be filled h lead! ts of quot;; alter roars. MRS. tROUt May tter-patter of little feet not be Maggies. MRS. PRESSMAN May ts be returned! tED May tty as t! ter ser. ANGLE ON: Ike cakes t, raising her glass along he is. Ike cant believe it. ALtER You kno;Youre not losing a daug; ell, Id like to! alter gets a bit laugh. he goes again. ALtER (contd) Maggie may not be running joke... (under h) Maggie finisher. ALtER AND MAGGIE -- But sainly test. Uproarious laugerribly pained. Ikes had enougo . alter is thrilled. he she CROD. ALtER (contd) O a toast? IKE I dont knoe. (to Maggie) Are you all righis? MAGGIE Excuse me? IKE Are you all righink this is funny? MAGGIE Yes. IKE I dont and I dont think you should... BOB Its a joke. theyre kidding. ALtER AND CROD (yell) Come on and give us a toast. IKE You me to make a toast? Okay... Ill give you a toast. to Maggies family and friends. May you find yourselves the bulls eye of an easy target. May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices and may your noses to rubbed in all of your mistakes... Ike cion. the guests stare at Maggie. Mortified, sears. MRS. tROUt t was funny. (a pause) But enougoasts, lets s start the music up. Ss everyone up to tune. Maggie eps and outside. Ike follo Peggy grabs a coat for ches her go as Cory approaches. CORY ty dollars bet on-- BOB Not now. Bob ruser Maggie. PEGGY (calling after her) Maggie. Maggie. (to Ike, ) s not really hawaii. Ike exits. then, Bob comes over. BOB hered Maggie go? PEGGY O to get me something from the car. Cory comes over o Bob and Peggy. BOB/PEGGY/CORY/ DENNIS C Bart Starr and football. (hich keeps Bob from going outside to follo it. EXt. tROUtS BARN - NIGht Ike runs after Maggie. urns o him. IKE Im there pulling for you. MAGGIE You ed me! IKE No, Maggie, I defended you. ing you is w everyone else is doing. Its ty. MAGGIE I under control. Nohey feel sorry for me. IKE ell, theyre about to ch you hang yourself again. Maggie has no response. IKE (contd) -- tell me something, do you really care about Mount Everest? MAGGIE Its fun! Its high. IKE Or ts of locusts? MAGGIE t eresting research George was doing! IKE kind of Dead s a temporary tattoo? MAGGIE I already explained about t. IKE And wo run the leper colony in Molokai? MAGGIE (wincing) Brian told you t? IKE Or maybe you just ed to he headdress. MAGGIE Every one of times I was being supportive. Somet understand. IKE Supportive? You being supportive. You were being scared. Just like no lost woman I have ever laid eyes on. MAGGIE Lost! IKE ts rig you dont even know how you like your eggs. MAGGIE !? IKE it, you liked them scrambled. ithe Dead head, fried. its egg hank you very much. MAGGIE ts called changing your mind. IKE No, ts called not having a mind of your own. are you doing, Maggie? You really to let t man drag you up Annapuma on your honeymoon? You dont to climb Annapuma. MAGGIE Yes I do! IKE No you dont. You a man who will lead you doh his head over your eyes just so you can discover t. You a guy o a cave to read you a poem. You a man to dawn because hes burning to talk to you and anote to find out w youll say. Am I right? . Maggie cant speak. IKE (contd) Am I right? Ss back angry tears. MAGGIE Stop. Stop it! Im getting married on Sunday, and youre just trying to make me run! hy? Because youre a cynical, exploitative, mean-ed creep who kno bit him in t! And all you do is tear ot ticize hey do, because youre too afraid to do anything yourself! I read your column. You never e one about you. Im not t and you kno! Am I rig? ANGLE ON: Bob comes outside. BOB Mag. here. Green Bay. Right guard. Boto Maggie and gives Ike a very s his arm around his fiancee. BOB (contd) You kno Starr, cre ... Are you okay? Maggie adjusts she can. MAGGIE Yes. BOB Let me take you back inside, okay? Ss him lead her away. MAGGIE Jerry Kramer. Ike looks at her drooped shoulder and he shakes his head and o his car PART 13 EXt. C DAY Peggy and Cindy arrive for they leave Cindys dog in Peggys car and o the church. CINDY tell me, wher wedding rewo days before this. PEGGY Bob is making he ceremony. CUt tO: INt. C ts in a pew as Bob leads Maggie and Ike up teps of the church. BOB (to Maggie) Okay, me to have Ike leave now? Maggie turns on Ike ;c; ility. MAGGIE No. No -- Actually, lets make Ike the pastor. IKE Id rat. MAGGIE (sarcastically) Come on, itll give you a great view. Its perfect. (seeing Peggy) hey. Maggie smiles at Bob. Ike sig. Bob pulls Ike to the aisle and places him. Peggy follows Maggie into to get ready. Cindy sits ed at the organ. BOB team effort, Pastor Ike... Cindy, ready? (after no response) Cindy, come on. Cindy leaves to join the foyer. INt. C MOMENt Once in talk. PEGGY o be tor? MAGGIE Yep. I o be front and center and to ching. PEGGY the luau? MAGGIE (flustered) ... I dont even to talk about the luau. (then seeing a hanging rope) s this? PEGGY Its for the bell. Cindy joins them. CINDY Bobs in a hurry. PEGGY Dont be nervous, Maggie. Let us visualize. Remember w Bob said? quot;Be t; CINDY quot;Sink tt.quot; PEGGY quot;Make t.quot; CINDY quot;Not net.quot; PEGGY quot;Never say die.quot; Maggie puts her hands up. MAGGIE Go! Peggy and Cindy exit. Maggie pulls the bell rope and sways back and forthe bell. INt. C MOMENt It is Maggies turn to enter. turn expectantly. too mucime passes. ted plays tops. Maggie she foyer doorway. BOB honey, are you okay? Maggie stops ringing together. She o ttle sakes a few tremulous steps sloh her eyes closed, peeking occasionally h one eye. IKE (taking off ) At t could be an evening wedding. BOB ! ! I think were taking too fast. o pace. BOB (contd) e need to limber you up a little. Youre tensing. (t; to Ike, moving him to grooms spot) You stand here and be me so she knows o go. (to Maggie) Im going to h you. Bob goes to Maggie and walks behind her. BOB (contd) Visualize! Visualize! Its game time. ANGLE ON: Maggie walking. BOB (contd) You are tball. Youre spiraling tohe hands of the groom. She aisle. Bob behind her. MAGGIE (eyes down) Yes, Im spiraling the air. ANGLE ON: Maggie raises of her as groom. Ike and Maggie lock gazes. If to, t look aed -- the love, the longing. MAGGIE (contd) I streak tohe goal line. Maggies pace quickens. MAGGIE (contd) And I land on the goal line. ANGLE ON: Bob beams to see Maggies eager arrival at Ikes side. he sco be the pastor. BOB Okay, Im tor. Dearly beloved, blah. Ra ta ta ta. Yabada dabada. I now pronounce you man and he bride, badum dum. (toed) e leads to us rig the... Ike kisses Maggie. It is a is a kiss t caken back. It is a kiss you only get once in your life. NE ANGLE: Bobs smile dies. Cindys mouthe kiss goes on and on. Peggy loses control and screams. BOB (contd) Maggie!!!!? Like a bucket of er two dogs, Ike and Maggie are startled out of t and smile at each other. ANGLE ON: Bob. BOB (contd) (furious) If you . (to Ike) the hell were you doing? IKE (eyes on Maggie) Im sorry, Bob. She kissed me back. MAGGIE (dazed but happy) I kissed him back. BOB Yea t. ant to tell me his has been going on? Maggie looks at Ike, wondrous, confused. MAGGIE About a minute...? IKE A little longer for me. MAGGIE Really? BOB do you expect me to say to this? IKE -- quot;I hope youll be very oget;? Bob he face. Ike drops. BOB I ogether. Bob storms do of the church. MAGGIE (to Peggy) take care of him. Maggie leaves. CUt tO: EXt. C MOMENt Bob is the church door and calls after him. MAGGIE Bob, Im sorry! (o herself) At least I backed out before the s progress! to Maggie. Maggie calls again. MAGGIE (contd) Some o make you a lot han I ever could... t of the door, racing after Bob at a full sprint. MAGGIE (contd) See? PEGGY ell, Maggie -- in the words of Mrs. Pressman: quot;;. Call me later. Peggy goes to her car. Cindy joins her as Bob speeds off in his car. Noakes Peggys place next to Maggie. Maggie turns to face Ike. t red, stammering and unable to look at eacrying to act normal. MAGGIE Okay. So... nohen? In there? IKE I dont know. I, u even to talk about it. MAGGIE Me, either. Ike GRABS Maggie and BOOM -- ther, kissing frantically, tongues, . Blathering fools. IKE (blathering) I love you. I love you. MAGGIE (blathering) I love you, too. they come up for air. IKE ait. e o talk. e o do some talking now. Pull up a railing. Maggie sits on ts on the opposite railing. IKE (contd) You o go do;I doquot;. You o get married. MAGGIE to who? Are you asking me? IKE Me? Ike backs up to opposite railing and sits facing Maggie. MAGGIE Yes, you! IKE (thinks) ell, you do he dress. MAGGIE And the church. IKE And te. two of us. (beat) So, you to go doh somebody you love and who love you back. MAGGIE Im okay . IKE So am I. MAGGIE So, well... t t of. t, ted, closes the church door. tED Good night. Ike pulls ape recorder out of and quietly speaks into it. IKE Im getting married. IDE S: t eacting. then, silence. CUt tO PART 14 EXt. StREEt/LANtIC EL - t NIGht Ike drives up and parks in front of tel as alks on his cell phone. INtERCUt Ith: INt. FIS Ellies on ts nearby. ELLIE Ikes going to get married. Fiso t and rolls himself er. ELLIE (contd) ( turning to him) Fis Persian, Ill kill you. CUt tO: INt. BEAUtY SALON - NIGht DAY Maggie talks to Peggy, Cindy and Grandma Julia. Grandma Julia sits under a , ts in . CINDY I love believe tening to you. PEGGY his hair... any color. GRANDMA JULIA I like igt. Peggy laughs. MAGGIE Grandma! PEGGY (to Cindy) See, ture relationship. S. CUt tO: LOVE MONtAGE SS: EXt. OCEAN - DAY Ike and Maggie fishing. INt. MAGGIES ORKShOP/hOME - DAY t. INt. MAGGIES hOUSE - DAY Ike and Maggie he game is slapjack. EXt. FIELD - DAY Maggie and Ike on their horses amongst trees, quot;nuzzlingquot;. Ike reads as he pushes Maggie in a tire swing. INt. MAGGIES ROOM - DAY Ike and Maggie open and close a s opposite ends in teeth. Grandma looks in. INt. MAGGIES LIVING ROOM - NIGht t as Ike se books. hes reading somets at t. they seem happy. EXt. ChE EDDING It is a media circus including FOUR REPORtERS, Midday h Meredit-s Vendor. Plus the reporters are intervieCh KENAN, a farmer and Grandma Julia. Reporter DINA NAPOLI he ceps. DINA NAPOLI (OF BAL) edding bells are ringing for the fourtime today in hale, Maryland. Maggie Carpenter, quot;Always a Bride -- Never a Bridesmaidquot;, tempting to complete h wedding ceremony. ell come back on the results are in. Back to you, Jessica. MereditV reporter, films himself pointing a cheap video camera himself. MEREDIth turnout for this mornings wedding is usually reserved for royalty or ars, but Maggie Carpenter is ar and tizens of in full force today. t-s Vendor pitches his wares. t-S VENDOR I got quot;Bye-bye Birdiequot;. quot; part of I do dont you understand?quot;... Get your quot;Runa; t-ss here... Reporter JULIE MURPands near Grandma Julia and Mrs. Pressman. JULIE MURPhY (Channel 6) t an being around in the beginning was never her problem. ell be here, she full wedding ceremony, we hope. Reporter JACKI and tIFFANY stand at the CROD reporting. JACKI/REPORtER #3 (BOC tV16) ill s s is on the minds of these several hundreds folks, wanding his morning. Not to mention on the mind of Groom Number #4, ex-USA today columnist, Ike Graion. EXt. INDO OF C. SUNDAY SChOOL ROOM - DAY INSERt the carnival scene. Cindy sits h Maggie as she leans forward, doubled over on a co sit hem. MAGGIE (moves to window) coming. atc coming. PEGGY No, no. I sa geese flying in a quot;Vquot;. MAGGIE You and your lucky geese. You always see geese. PEGGY Not eight... CINDY And in a quot;Vquot;. MAGGIE Eig;Vquot; could be Victory. tarting ter quot;Vquot;. Maggie is nervous. CINDY Rub your ears. PEGGY Yes, rubbing your ears is very soothing. Cory does t to me when I ilate. Maggie rubs her ears. CINDY e do it to our dog. MAGGIE Its ing. CINDY ell rub. After t: PEGGY hes here! hes here! t ement. Cindy ruso Maggies wedding dress. CINDY Ill get the dress. MAGGIE hes here!... hes here! PEGGY Noime for calm... If you dont calm do get your dress on... (reassuringly) he one. Peggy moves to ands alone at t. Soy horse. MAGGIE t a good sign. Maggie goes over to Peggy and Cindy, and starts to get into her bridal goinue to ad lib anding he letter quot;Vquot;. CINDY e o he Sunday School kids will be here soon. CUt tO: INt. IKES CAR - DAY Ike pulls up sloS peer the his car window and wave. Ike rubs his headache. JULIE MURPhY ell, t pulled up. there alk of a quot;no he is here. DINA NAPOLI Ike Graham is here! IKESPOV: akes it all in: a FAMILY eats a fast food picnic on a neiged GUEStS flock by in ty best, and local NES tEAMS block tAtE SENAtOR is making a speeco Maryland. A large GROUP of reporters airs, heir equipment. ter treaming inside the church. Ike snaps. EXt. IKES CAR - CONtINUING Ike stops t is and jumps out, slamming the door in anger. tERS s of the car. tinue to pound ions as o church steps. An OLDER LADY smacks h a neonis and continues up the steps. airs and grabs Lee. IKE S ours so sh an ending. Mrs. Pressman stands, sing Ike h her video camera. IKE (contd) (pleading) Mrs. Pressman, please. MRS. PRESSMAN Its okay. theres no microphone. Youre no fun. IKE No, Im not. Ike retreats into to h his video camera: C Scorsese. INt. CINUING As Fis book, a LOCAL LADY stares at Ellie. Ellie stares back at il she leaves. Ike walks aurns smack into Ellie and Fiss hem a big hug. IKE Friends. thank you. Over Ellies shoulder, Ike sees Fishers grinning face. IKE (contd) e are friends, arent we, Fisher? FIShER (grinning) Of course we are. Of course. IKE t man. FIShER ell, Im good, I dont know if Im best. IKE Go talk to tor and ell you o do. And someone ell me o do. ELLIE You al in t suit... And Ike? (emotional) Im happy for you, honey. Ellie whispers in his ear. ELLIE (contd) Ill o w of here if she runs. Ellie kisses he cheek and walks away. PART 15 ANGLE ON: Bob comes up to Ike. o punchen abruptly a rose boutonniere. BOB You look awful. IKE (sarcastically) thank you. Bob o Ike. Ike is schis and looks up to Ike. It is a moment of clean y bethe men. BOB Ike. Need help? akes tonniere and puts it on Ikes lapel. BOB (contd) Im glad its you. IKE Really? BOB I didnt to find out I for er. IKE Got any last minute advice? BOB (motioning to their eyes) Maintain eye contact. Bob turns and leaves, going doaircase. IKE (to himself) Eye contact. Eye contact. Out of tures of C on the ure and whispers. IKE (contd) Cover me. o the chapel. INt. CINUING Ike steps up and stands next to Fisher. FIShER (to Ike) I Im doing. IKE Your job is... the ring. (to Fisher) Do you he ring?! FIShER I just found out Im best man! Im lucky I ... s wrong? Ike gives to Fisor approaches Ike. Ike turns a over ts. IKESPOV: t of tONSPEOPLE o knotle ponytails. Armani s. t of smirking, c tories for cocktail hour. Elaine is in back all dressed in black, mourning Ike. Mrs. trout approaches Ike. MRS. tROUt You she wedding car -- a 63 Buick. IKE thank you. MRS. tROUt Oically family. Mrs. trout starts picking lint off Fis. FIShER hello. Im Fisher. MRS. tROUt t to come out. FIShER You just pull a hair from my neck. IKE Mrs. trout, go back to your seat! INt. ChURCh FOYER - DAY Peggy joins Maggie, who is blowing bubblegum and swaying in front of an oscillating fan. Grandma and alter come in. Grandma gives he cheek. GRANDMA JULIA Good luck, Maggie. MAGGIE thank you, Grandma. Grandma leaves. alter steps up. ALtER (quietly to Maggie) Im really rooting for this one. MAGGIE thank you, Dad. Peggy turns off takes the bag from Maggie. CINDY Spit. Maggie spits o the bag. Peggy hands Maggie her bouquet. PEGGY Lets go. MAGGIE No sauntering do make time. Lets just get there. Cindy and Peggy nod and leave. the door closes. INt. CINUING Botends o Elaine. ELAINE hi, Im Elaine from New York. BOB h attempt. ELAINE Im sorry. BOB ts okay. theres a lid for every pot. Besides, Im comfortable h Ike. I mean, Jack Dempsey lost his title to a New Yorker. ELAINE I knounney. to play. t is ted. Grandma, alter, Mrs. Pressman and trouts crout picks lint off of . ANGLE ON: Cindy and Peggy enter air of people who have done t to too quickly. Peggy gives Ike a wink and an encouraging smile. INt. CINUING ticks his head in. DENNIS theyre ready, Maggie. MAGGIE Just a second. Dennis closes to the c alone. S back door as possible escape route, the start of the door. INt. CINUOUS Immediately, Cory and Dennis open trance. All ts stand as Maggie enter the chapel smiling. MAGGIES POV: tretco infinity. Faces goggle at ion. tiny figure of Ike stands like a beacon a long way off. NE ANGLE: Sation step. ANGLE ON: Ike rocks imperceptibly, urging her on. Peggy and Cindy make little quot;come onquot; motions. It seems to be working. Maggie approacurned from skepticism to looks and noises of encouragement. ANGLE ON: MAGGIE But t gradually begin to slow. ANGLE ON: Fistle quot;darn, so closequot; look. ANGLE ON: But Ike is too busy maintaining eye contact. his eyes urge Maggie closer -- loving her, willing her on. CLOSE ON: Maggie stops easing smile, and then resumes oward him. his face. her face. his face. her face. CLOSE ON: incher follows. NE ANGLE: A sigS as Maggie closes in on Ike. he smiles at there... Shes t Ike. tor gestures to ts to sit dohey do. ANGLE ON: Ike sneezes. S splitting apart. And ss like a bat out of hell! In a flurry of we, she aisle before Ike knows w s him. ANGLE ON: Ike stands to action, cer her. IKE (yelling out) Block the doors! Like a general, s to Dennis and Cory in the back and sends to action. t in Maggies face. But so the tONSPEOPLE stand so Ike can he pew. Ike climbs on tohe aisle, blocking his pato the side aisle and scampers down and away. Fiss on his cell phone. Ike charges from one of the pews near taircase to cut comes off in eps of the c. Ike fumble he railing, landing on Dennis toe. airs after er exc money. CUt tO: INt. C - CONtINUING Maggie comes doeps and enters the church childrens Sunday sc of KIDS And tEAChERS are doing religious arts and crafts. As Maggie runs through: MAGGIE teps s of candy in s. If you tickle him, hell give candy. S to a little GIRL as she goes by. Ike comes doairs. IKE Maggie! ts. Ike fights his way through KIDS. ANGLE ON: Maggie as scer and the window is wide enough. ANGLE ON: Ike as s to t Maggie is out in driveway. PART 16 EXt. CINUING Maggie flies toruck at next leaving. ANOthER ANGLE: Shers her dress and jumps in as Ike yells from window, t onto truck starts to pull away. IKE Maggie! Maggie looks back once, tearful and regretful, and disappears inside truck. truck races off. tOGRAPurn their cameras on Ike, en masse. he is enveloped by a barrage of brigs. Ellie and Fisepped outside on c steps, are looking around as Ike turns around the corner and past the church. ELLIE Look, er her. FIShER Look, ty good shape. ELLIE Poor Ike. ter truck and cruck dohe church. IKE (running; yells) Maggie! ELLIE hink shes going? FIShER is, sen- ty tomorrow. Cindy, Cory, Peggy and Meredit of the church and comment on Maggies runaill cruck, yelling: IKE Maggie! As truck rounds the road and disappears, Ike stops and stares alone after truck. A swarm of REPORtERS catco ures and asking questions. Anot to: A NESPAPER PO Of Ikes stunned face on today. tion reads: quot; and Run: Runarikes againquot;. And we see her papers. quot;MAGGIES MAD DAS; quot;S AND BOLtSquot; quot;JOURNALISt RIttEN OFFquot; quot;BRIDE tAKES IKEquot; quot;BRIDE tAKE RIDEquot; quot;MAGGIE SAYS I DONtquot; NESPAPER MONtAGE: INt. NE YORK BAR - DAY Kevin, tender, reads Jays column, in today entitled quot;Maggies Mad Das;. CUt tO: EXt. USA tODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Various nehe USA today entitled quot;Maggie Mad Das; and quot;s and Boltsquot; in another newspaper. FADE IN EXt. MAIN StREEt/ (1-5 MONtER) Its a nighe regular order of tored on its quaint streets. Quartet sings in front of tel. LEE AND CORY C where Peggy is. INt. ORE - NIGht Maggie is sitting, end of a long day. Peggy sticks her head in entrance door. PEGGY You okay? Im closing. MAGGIE Im just finisoo. PEGGY ant to go to Butchs for a drink or something? MAGGIE (interrupting) No, Im just going to head home. PEGGY Okay. Peggy starts to go, to Maggie. PEGGY (contd) (stepping closer and making a quot;Vquot; h her fingers) You kno t t geese t;Vquot; was ;quot;. A quot;quot; for... MAGGIE are you talking about? PEGGY edding. edding. (holding Maggies face) You just o get t of your ducks in a row. MAGGIE till t he was.... PEGGY Quick. Very quick. Peggy exits. Maggie stares, losing . then a VOICE startles her. VOICE (whispers) Marry me, Maggie. Maggie jumps and turns to see: DENNIS -- the high scball team, popping up from a loion near the counter. MAGGIE (softly) hi, Dennis. DENNIS I am going to propose, you know. I mean, t urn eighteen. MAGGIE Youre s, Dennis. But youve got to go. Im closing up. heres a candy bar and one for your brother. Dennis takes tarts to go. DENNIS Im not giving up. A person s give up. Dennis exits. Maggie is alone. Surns out the lamp she designed, turns off the counter and exits. e hold on Maggies designed lamp. CUt tO: INt. IKES MENt - NIGht Ike o his door, carrying his mail and a bag of carryout. o ment. he pets Italics, aking off his coat, o o about marriage and divorce. CUt tO: INt. MAGGIES hOUSE - DAY Dad and Grandma Julia are there. Grandma is making lunch. alter is juggling oranges. the kitcer. ALtER ts Maggie. home for lunch. GRANDMA JULIA S ts good. Maggie he cheek. MAGGIE s for lunch? GRANDMA JULIA turkey and cheese. ALtER her and I were t opening a museum. alter laughs. MAGGIE StOP! alter looks at er in surprise. hes never heard a tone like this in her voice before. ALtER ? MAGGIE (quiet fury) Just stop it. Dont say another word like t. ALtER (putting dohe oranges) Maggie, its just a joke... MAGGIE No. Its my life. ALtER A harmless joke. MAGGIE No, its ing and youve been doing it since I like it. Stop. You may not like er guess like having a fatime. Ill eat in my room. Maggie takes a plate and exits. GRANDMA JULIA t needed to be said. You know -- youre al her, so t make jokes about your drinking. alter reacts. CUt tO: INt. IKES APARtMENt - DAY Ike goes out on errace. ball. It doesnt bounce. s on teps of tio an stares. CUt tO: INt. MAGGIES ORKROOM/GYM - DAY Maggie is kickboxing. CUt tO: INt. MAGGIES ORKROOM/GYM - ANOthER DAY Maggie is a bit melancholy as she works on her lamps. CUt tO: INt. IKES APARtMENt - ANOthER DAY Ike quietly sits in bed ing and staring into space thinking. sits on the windowsill. CUt tO: INt. MAGGIES ORKROOM/GYM - NIGht Maggie jumps rope barefooted late at night. MAGGIE I need a plan... A plan to life... would Bruce Lee do? hed kick some ass... CUt tO: INt. MAGGIES KItChEN - DAY Maggie in front of plates full of all sorts of types of eggs -- scrambled, poac, soft boiled, etc -- sits on tcer. Sies them all. EXt. NE YORK StREEt - DAY Establis. try to fix taxi outside taurant. CUt tO: EXt. NE YORK StREEt - DUSK Eke -s Vendor, goes into a subation. EXt. ANOtREEt - DUSK Ike crosses a busy street wed. Ike is passing t;Millennium orequot;. tops and looks again. the window display is made up of an assortment of Maggies lamps. Logo quot;MAGquot; is on them. he smiles and walks on. EXt. CENtRAL PARK RESERVOIR - DUSK Ike stares out at er as he walks. EXt. IKES APARtMENt BUILDING - NIGht Ike reet, enters his building. INt. IKES APARtMENt - NIGht Ike opens to ment and flicks on ts. he crosses to in t. In t mirror, he sees and is stunned to find: MAGGIE, sitting on the couch alics, t. MAGGIE hello, Ike. and crosses to his desk. IKE Dont tell me. My doorman is one of your many admires... I knew I should ter Cmas gift. Maggie smiles tenuously. Stle terrified. MAGGIE Ive been making friends . (then) Is it okay t Im here? IKE I dont ter no I cant speak for Italics. (to Cat) traitor! o tchen. MAGGIE I dont blame you for being mad... Ike looks at ly t;madquot; is an understatement. MAGGIE (contd) ... Or... furious. Ike looks at her again. MAGGIE (contd) ... Irate? Livid? ? arts putting cat food in a bo leaves Maggies side and starts to east. IKE Livid is good. So , Maggie? You here on business? I saw your lamps. terrific. MAGGIE Its someted to do. Ike leaves tcurns on ts and re-enters the balcony. IKE You actually could make breaking and entering into a new career. (after opening the glass doors) So, w are you doing here? MAGGIE I ed to talk to you about why I run or ride ahings. Ike moves aeps near the balcony ening. PART 17 IKE (after sitting) Does it matter? MAGGIE I think so... hen I was walking down toward somebody w have any idea who I really was only he ot, because I had done everyto convince I ly was good t I didnt go t because it would you -- you knehe real me. IKE Yes, I did. MAGGIE I didnt. And you being t the end of t just fix t. Ike takes t the defenses go back up. urns to her. IKE No, I couldnt fix anything... (as s up) But I still ended up cruck. Ike moves out to ter a moment, Maggie follows him. EXt. BALCONY/IKESAPARtMENt - NIGht tral Park. twinkling lighe city stretc across tiful nig at to Maggie as she speaks. MAGGIE I understand wruck. Let me explain somet is, youve seen me at my , most embarrassing, deviously plotting, potentially but not certifiably, psycic state. And if you liked me t imagine... (crosses to him) Benedict. Ike has no response. MAGGIE (contd) I love eggs Benedict. I e all the other kinds. Sates. MAGGIE (contd) ... I e big h everybody staring. I o get married on a weekday w work. If I ride off into t, I my own horse. IKE Sing this down? Surns to the box. IKE (contd) s this? MAGGIE these are for you. . Its her running shoes. IKE Used? MAGGIE turning in my running so you. IKE tting serious. Now s he full force of her. MAGGIE And one more ts hard to believe there could be more. Um... Maggie glances around and spots a DECK Curns so it is facing ty ligly says: MAGGIE (contd) If you could , please. Ike sits. Maggie takes ts it aide. And ts down on one knee. IKE (laughing) Oh my God. No. Maggie smiles up at ips his head back and covers his eyes h his hand. MAGGIE No, no -- dont his only ime. Its definitely a first to me, and youre not going to to miss it. Maggie. MAGGIE (contd) I love you, homer Eisenhower Graham. ill you marry me? Ike swallows, overwless. IKE Maggie, I gotta t this a little bit. Maggie o . MAGGIE (cheerful) Good. Ss off ands. MAGGIE (contd) I was . IKE (laughing) You . MAGGIE I ;yesquot; right a get to say t part. And Ive been practicing it. (pulling up a chair and sitting) Ready? IKE Im listening. MAGGIE (tenderly) quot;I guarantee t well ough times. I guarantee t at some point one or bot to get out. But I also guarantee t if I dont ask you to be mine, Ill regret it for t of my life. Because I know in my -- youre t;. Ike takes ionately. IKE Pretty good speech, Maggie. MAGGIE I borro from this guy I know. So? Ike looks into Maggies ss up and motions o stay seated. he goes inside and turns on some music. t is sitting by the radio. he returns to takes Maggies hand. IKE Dance h me. tart to dance a slow dance. DISSOLVE tO: EXt. LARGE GREEN FIELD - DAY e see a op of it is a Pastor marrying Maggie and Ike, in beautiful tire. e see Maggie walk down a leaf-lined aisle to a ing Ike. the vows and ;I doquot;. twirling, whirling kiss, a circular kiss. e ty people. Sloy people come over t of the old grooms. twos, like a love Noahs ark. e see ot the news. INt. ChURCh - DAY Priest Brian Maggies wedding. INt. BAKERY - DAY Mrs. trout Maggies wedding. INt. NE YORK BAR - DAY George, Groom #3, Maggies wedding. INt. ELLIES OFFICE OR APARtMENt - DAY Ellie and Fis Maggies wedding. EXt. FIELD - DAY ANOthER ANGLE: Maggie and Ike finally break takes her hand and wo wo horses, ride off he group cheers, Maggie t. e see it float in the air. FADE tO BLACK. thE END